On networking and worldworking

Life is about bringing people together and seeing what happens. Just because someone is powerful, rich, or famous doesn't mean they are better than you -we are all equal.

Don't think in terms of connecting with people to get what you want; think about how you can help them. Look for people to develop relationships with. How can you be a connector? Where is there an information gap that you can plug? Try to get to know the person you're talking to. Ask them about their business, their ideal customer, or their goals. Ask what they do for fun and find out what they care about. Seek out these stories and you'll gain valuable insights and maybe even lessons.

Don't be afraid to talk to people--simply strike up a conversation. Offer a compliment - be sincere about it. As you meet people, relationships will follow. Find mentors, advisors, and friends to share goals with. By networking, you will be empowered to find the people who can help you achieve a specific goal. The reason to network is so that you can put yourself out there to meet those people. In the end, it's those relationships that matter - they will make the journey worthwhile.

As you network, you will better understand how aspects of the world work, which will result in your ability to effect change, and ultimately your realization that you really can do anything.

Lucky-draw, lucky me!

Chris Botti, here I come

Omg, can hardly believe it, I just won. A pair of tickets. To the Chris Botti concert on May 20 at Esplanade. :-)


It's the first time I've ever won a lucky draw! What a rush of excitement, especially those first 5 minutes just after receiving that 'congratz, you're our lucky winner!' call from the event organizers.

Ah, life's simple pleasures. :-) Not a cent of regret buying this "Chris Botti: Italia" CD two weeks ago.

For your trial & listening pleasure: Track 1 - Italia (feat. Andrea Bocelli)

Like it? Get the CD at any HMV or CD shop, or if you're in Singapore, just catch his concert next week - tickets are available online from SISTIC here.

Other stuff:
- Chris Botti Official Website
- The ever-comprehensive wikipedia
- Online reviews: 1, 2, 3

Life is jazzy,
-tmsh-

Catatan Sesi: Manajemen Konflik

Manajemen Konflik
Gali-gali notes lama dari Kamp Jemaat tahun lalu, ketemu sebuah topik yang simple tapi cukup relevan untuk kehidupan bergereja maupun konteks umum/universal.

For our enlightenment and spiritual growth, personally as well as together, serving as a body of Christ. God bless :-)

-tmsh-

---

Notes dari Kamp Jemaat GPO, Jan 2007
Kapita Selekta: Manajemen Konflik
Pembicara: Pdt. Juswantori Ichwan

Apa itu konflik?
Konflik = perselisihan yang terjadi karena dua orang atau lebih mempunyai kepentingan yang berbeda atas satu objek sasaran.
Contoh: Konflik di GPO misalnya ada dua majelis yang mempunya visi yg indah, tetapi berbeda.

Apa penyebab konflik?
Lihat Yakobus 4: 1-3.
Konflik disebabkan oleh hawa nafsu/pemikiran/keinginan pribadi, yang tidak didahului dengan berdoa, atau berdoa tetapi salah berdoa.

Apa faktor pemicu konflik?
1. Ucapan: Bahasa verbal dan non-verbal, i.e. ekspresi, intonasi, pilihan kata-kata.
2. Tulisan: Bisa terjadi kesalahpahaman/salah penafsiran, i.e. via sms, email, surat.
3. Sikap tertentu: Body language juga berbicara, i.e. air muka, postur, gerak-gerik/gestures.
4. Keputusan: Jika disampaikan secara sepihak atau dengan cara yang kurang bijak, could be taken personally. ('catatan kilat' on how to handle this: ngelobi dulu, baru sampaikan keputusan)

Contoh kasus: Paulus vs Barnabas
Lihat Kisah 15: 35-39.
Semula akrab --> terjadi dialog --> terungkap keinginan --> ada ucapan keras --> ada prasangka negatif --> berlangsung debat mulut --> terjadi perpecahan.

Mengapa perlu menyelesaikan konflik?
1. Konflik dalam satu masalah akan menimbulkan masalah yang lain.
2. Melumpuhkan semangat melayani.
3. Mengganggu kesehatan.
4. Menghabiskan energi.
5. Mengecewakan Tuhan.

Bagaimana menyelesaikan konflik?

> Cara PREVENTIF / pencegahan <

Sebisa mungkin, berusahalah meminimalkan konflik. Lihat Roma 12:18 --> "Sedapat-dapatnya, kalau hal itu bergantung padamu, hiduplah dalam perdamaian dengan semua orang!"

Langkah yang bijak dan Kristiani dalam mencegah konflik:

1) Perhatikan kata-kata kita.

• Jangan mewakili perkataan orang lain
• Jangan memakai kata-kata yang keras/memojokkan
• Jangan memakai nada/kata yang mengancam
• Jangan memakai humor yang berisi ejekan/sarkasma

Melainkan:

• Pihak yang berkepentingan hendaklah menyampaikan sendiri pikiran/perasaannya
• Pakailah kata-kata yang positif dan membangun
• Tunjukkan ekspresi dan sikap yang penuh pengertian
• Boleh bercanda, tetapi jangan 'menyerang' pihak tertentu - kalau perlu, ledek diri sendiri aja :-)

2) Perhatikan waktu bicara.

Carilah waktu yang tenang, dan saat pikiran jernih. Hindari memberi saran/mengkritik saat orang tsb sedang lelah/capek (biasanya saran/kritik akan 'mental' balik karena timbul defensiveness).

3) Perhatikan tempat bicara.

Carilah tempat yang tidak bising, tidak banyak distraction. Fokus pada topik yang dibahas.

PS: Utamakan mencari waktu dan tempat yang tepat dibandingkan terburu-buru/secepat mungkin. (At the same time, harus balance, jangan ditunggu terlalu lama-lama sampai masalah yg 'hangat' keburu menjadi 'panas'.)


> Cara KURATIF / penyembuhan <

Ketika 'nasi sudah menjadi bubur' alias konflik sudah terjadi, hindari ber-reaksi secara 'spontan'/knee-jerk reaction, karena justru dapat membuat keadaan semakin memanas.

Langkah yang bijak dan Kristiani dalam mengatasi konflik:

1) Kenali apa masalahnya.

Apakah itu masalah kita? Masalah saya? Masalah dia pribadi? Atau masalah orang lain?

Remember: "Hurt people" hurt people.
Dalam arti: Orang yang sakit hati biasanya akan menyakiti orang lain juga, tanpa dia sadari.

[Quote Pak Juswan: "Yang waras, ngalah lah..."] :-)

2) Selesaikanlah segera.

Konflik menghambat hubungan kita dengan Tuhan. Lihat Matius 5: 22-25 --> haruslah kita berdamai dulu dengan saudara kita sebelum membawa persembahan kepada Tuhan.

Ada 2 jenis "amarah" dari Alkitab:
[-] ORGE (api dalam sekam) --> tidak baik, karena menyimpan perasaan di dalam, masalah tidak terselesaikan
[+] THUMOS (menyala dan padam) --> baik, karena membuka jalan untuk menyelesaikan masalah

3) Temui dan belajar mendengar.

- Dengarkan dengan hati dan pikiran terbuka, tanpa membawa prasangka dini.
- Jangan hanya mendengarkan kata-katanya, tetapi juga pahami perasaannya.
- Ungkapkan lagi apa yang kita tangkap, supaya ia merasa dimengerti, dan kita tidak menyimpulkan secara keliru.

4) Pakai kata-kata yang bijak.

DO:
Pakailah kata-kata yang mendamaikan/peaceful words, dengan berendah hati.
- "Maafkan saya," atau "Saya yang salah," atau "Mungkin kita berdua salah mengerti, tetapi saya juga memang ada bagian yang salah."
- "Yes, you are my friend. I don't want to lose you because of this problem. Ayo kita mulai lagi semuanya dengan lebih baik."
- "Dari masalah ini, saya belajar...."

DON'T:
JANGAN memakai kata 'always' or 'never', karena kedua kata ini sudah seperti memberikan "vonis" bagi kawan bicara kita.
- ALWAYS ("Kenapa sih kamu itu selalu begini...." / "You always...")
- NEVER ("Kamu tidak pernah mendengarkan pendapat saya dulu..." / "You never...")

Selamat bertumbuh bersama!

Classical-post #8

Love is all around
Been out and about doing other things lately... but now I'm back with some classical-recs, folks!


I'm currently in love with Edward Elgar's "Salut d'amour" (I think it means "love salutation"? Wild guess, haha).

This version in particular, is a lovely blend of 5 instruments: piano, flute, violin, cello, and trumpet. What a beautiful harmony it makes! <3

-tmsh-

Classical-post #7

Times of trial
In the midst of a turbulent heart, always seek for the silver lining and cling to the hope abound.


Tonight, I empathize with Rachmaninov's Piano Concerto No.2, a musical retelling of how one's inner turmoil:
Starts at the brink of despair,
Develops a sense of hope, then
Evolves into a flush of freedom.

There is a time for everything; for everything there is a time.
And I truly believe He makes all things beautiful in His time.

In His time, in His time
He makes all things beautiful in His time
Lord, please show me every day as You're teaching me Your way
That You do just what You say in Your time

-tmsh-

Classical-post #6

More than words
Have you ever had a day when you just feel it, but can't express it?


Faze out in wordlessness with "Song without Words No.1 in E Op.19b No.1" by Mendelssohn. (...that's one long title for a song that doesn't have any words.) X-D

-tmsh-

Classical-post #5

Dance after the rain
Had a lively game of 'dancing' on the courts earlier this evening, drizzling aside.


Now, enjoy one of Chopin's well-known tunes for dances, the "Grande Valse brillante".

Happy Sunday,
-tmsh-

Classical-post #4

Gloom looms
It's been a gloomy day for the most part, but it doesn't mean a gloomy mood.


Have a thoughtful twist with "Alborada de gracioso", the first movement from Ravel's all-famous Miroirs.

-tmsh-

Classical-post #3

April has arrived
And it's looking to be a fantastic month ahead.


On this day of fools, let's take it lightly with Dvořák's "Humoresque". ^^

-tmsh-

Fool around with this

Are you right or left-brained?

Do you see the dancer turning clockwise or anti-clockwise?

Source: HeraldSun.com.au

If clockwise, then you use more of the right side of the brain and vice versa. Most of us would see the dancer turning anti-clockwise though you can try to focus and change the direction; see if you can do it.

LEFT BRAIN FUNCTIONS uses logic, detail-oriented, facts rule, words and language, present and past, math and science, can comprehend, knowing, acknowledges order/pattern perception, knows object name, reality-based, forms strategies, practical, safe

RIGHT BRAIN FUNCTIONS uses feeling, "big picture"-oriented, imagination rules, symbols and images, present and future, philosophy & religion, can "get it" (i.e. meaning), believes, appreciates spatial perception, knows object function, fantasy-based, presents possibilities, impetuous, risk-taking

-tmsh-

For the curious

Who, me? First I kept seeing her move clockwise, and no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't make her go the other way. After frustrating myself for 10 mins, I went to read a book, and an hour later when I came back, there she was going anti-clockwise. Now I can pretty much choose the direction at will. Go, brain.

Classical-post #2

Monday not-so blues
Got a lot done today. Go me! To celebrate, here's Gershwin's "I got rhythm".


Have a rhythmic-week, folks. ^^

-tmsh-

Classical-post #1

It's one of those days


Chopin's "Fantaisie-impromptu" adequately represents what I'm feeling right now: mixed up, rush & tumble... at the same time contemplative and hopeful.

-tmsh-

Here I am, Here we are

Intro: Keeping Up
There's something good about following a so-called trend. It keeps you up to date with the here and now, with a glimpse of what's already happened and what's likely to occur.

For instance, this blogging thing. My guess is that a tidal wave of blogs are getting created every day, from practically every internet-connected country around the world. It's one of the highest-adopted trends, that's being followed by young and old, teen and 'tong' (istilah buat para lansia yg udah kayak "tong" juga - banyak pengalaman buat di-sharing-in), commoner and celebrity alike.

Anyway, what I particularly like about this blogging trend is that it spans horizontally across virtual distances, and vertically from points in time to... possibly limitless other points in time. (At this moment let's choose to ignore its potential negativities, like extreme blogging overtaking reality, for the purpose of this topic.) As a 'trend', it becomes part of self-expression, and also part of everyday life - which is where I'm headed to talking about next.

Carpe Diem
Speaking of everyday life, let's start off with a simple question: How often have we relived the past and looked forward to the future, but forgotten to experience the present?

There was a fictional story I once read that had this little dialogue exchange between two friends:
"What time is it now?"
"It's 9:57 pm, 7th November 2005."
"How many 9:57 pm, 7th November 2005 do you get in a lifetime?"
"Just one. Does that make it special?"
"What makes a particular moment special isn't when it is, but how it was spent, whom it was spent with. And as for the 9:57 pm, 7th November 2005 that just passed, I spent it walking with you."

For most of us (including myself), probably all too often we take those "9:57pm"s for granted. Especially during a not-so-pleasant experience or a period of uncertainty, there's a tendency to want to "fast-forward" our lives to a more 'certain' state ("What will I be doing by year XX?") or to just revel in happy memories ("I wish I could go back to being YY years old, life was so simple back then."). And not to forget, the never-ending "what-ifs" ("I wonder what would have happened if I had done this and that...") that fill the mind in the middle of the night, when you're already exhausted but not quite sleepy yet. Although the body is physically in the "here & now", the mind and heart tend to get caught up in the "there & then".

I'm not saying the past isn't important, and definitely not implying the future should be ignored. But I guess it's important to be reminded that God gave us life to enjoy, to share and to do things NOW, not just wait until the 'right moment' comes, etc. At the end of the day, it's about being effective by way of having a good balance and perspective; hence, the title I picked for this site.

Everything in Moderation
So much to do, so little time. Ain't that true for most of us? Is it really time that we're lacking, or are we trying to do too many things, too much, too fast? Too, too, too - that's the problem, not time.

Essentially, 'moderation' is about making sure things don't go into "too"-land. I'm sure everyone has his or her own idea of the 'degree of moderation', and it's fine. What's important is to consciously do what we choose to do, make the most of what we can do, and know why we're doing it.

For me, keeping things in moderation doesn't mean having a sub-standard goal, or only half-enjoying a meal. On the contrary, it means being able to experience a lot of things by learning something new everyday, going somewhere I've never been, striving step-by-step to achieve my dreams, enjoying the simple pleasures, spending time with the people I love, helping others in any way I can big or small, simply being myself, and serving Him in every aspect of my life. And I guess, that's essentially pretty much what this blog will be about.

Here's to living life to the fullest, no matter what, when, where, and how!

-tmsh-

PS: This isn't meant to be a philosophical blog, but this kind of topic just sort of... gets you in the mood, y'know. ^^ Expect more random, casual, fan-related babble in later posts.